


Achieving Nirvana

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-22
Updated: 2006-03-22
Packaged: 2019-01-19 15:24:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: What makes you act the way you do?  What goes on beyond those eyes; what fantasies does your mind contrive?  Who are you, Lily Evans? // Sorry about the errors that were in here originally.  I fixed them.  :)





	Achieving Nirvana

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Achieving Nirvana** ****

by Sapphire Silhouette 

****

 

****

Who are you, Lily Evans?

 

You sit attentively at class and look at the professor, but you do not see. Your ears perk up as if you have just heard something interesting, but you are not listening. You jot words down on a spare piece of parchment, but you are not taking notes. What are you thinking about? Are you perhaps imagining you are somewhere else, away from this desolate classroom? Do you dream of things that surpass, by far, the monotonous activities that take place in your day-to-day life? A faint smile graces your features, yet you hide it quickly. Why do you do this? Why stifle something so beautiful and mesmerizing? I see your eyes shimmer with suppressed mirth. What can you be pondering? Is it something that is going on in this classroom? Or are you far away, recalling an incident hidden in the dark crevices of Time?

 

Adjusting yourself slightly, you cross your ankles and lift a hand up to your mouth to cover a yawn. There is an ink stain on one of your fingers, contrasting starkly with the white of your skin. After brushing back a strand of your crimson hair, a smile returns to your face, but it is no longer one of mirth. Your eyes are now dreamy, your brain engaged in matters far above any that have ever been discussed in this classroom.

 

Who are you, Lily Evans?

 

What makes you act the way you do? Why do you stroke your thin fingers over the outline of your textbook? What goes on beyond those eyes; what fantasies does your mind contrive?

 

For one slow moment, you look at me and our eyes lock. Your expression does not change - it is as if you do not notice me at all. To you, I am only a pair of eyes, looking back at you with the same, wistful expression. Do you see me? Or will you forget me as soon as you turn away?

 

In this single moment, we share our own world. For a moment, we are long-separated lovers, meeting once again, feeling dormant emotion awake once more and blaze with suppressed adolescent passion. For a moment, you are mine.

 

But your eyes move on, and I am lost. I feel the dull loneliness deep in my bones; the betrayal of your eyes’ departure is torturous to me - I feel my soul burn inside my chest. Why do you do this to me?

 

Class is over and you pack up your things slowly, with a grace that could hardly be imitated. You walk with your head down, like an angel whose brilliance would blind any mortal that might chance to look upon its face.

 

Not sure of my own actions, I follow you down a corridor. We do not have Potions for a while, so why are you walking toward that classroom? I shrink back into the shadows as you stop to glance around the corridor to see if someone is following you. Can you see me? I am here, behind this ancient, stone statue. You turn around but do not continue walking. Instead, you put your back to the wall and slowly slide to the ground.

 

Why are you crying, Lily Evans? What kind of cruel creature hurt you to cause you such grief? Was it a mother, a sister, a friend, a lover? Was it me? Your shoulders shake, and your body shudders. The weight of the world appears to be on your shoulders, but you seek to hide it from all, and instead chose to release your anguish to these bare walls.

 

And what am I doing? What kind of magic has taken over my body that I find myself walking toward you against my will? Why can’t I fight the urges of my limbs and remain hidden by the darkness? Your heartache is too personal - it would not be right for me to intrude upon it. Yet I find myself beside you, looking down at you as you quiver with sorrow.

 

You look at me, and your eyes are bloodshot. At first, my face does not register in your mind, but now you see who I am, and you back away. Why do you cringe when I move closer? I will not harm you, Lily Evans. I kneel down beside you, and our eyes meet again.

 

Is this love? Is that the emotion that burns inside me when I look at you? Is that the inexplicable feeling that has tormented me for years? Yes, it must be. I love you, Lily Evans.

 

I put my arms around you, and you tremble. Be calm, Lily Evans. I am here. Your body leans into mine, and I feel complete. You feel it too. You look up at me once more, and I see it. Suddenly, we are standing. We are close. Your eyes drift downward lazily and close. There is only one thing I can do.

 

_Ecstasy. Delight. Happiness. Joy. Peace. Calm. Tranquility. Beauty. Splendor. Magnificence. Elation. Rapture. Thrill. Excitement. Pleasure. **Bliss**. _

 

What is happening, Lily Evans? I press my lips against yours, and we are suddenly somewhere else, in a different world, away from that cold corridor. There is no one but you, now. No one but the two of us. We are one. We are all that matters. 

 

It ends, and we are back in school. We lift our heavy eyelids and look at one another. There is something different in the air around us now. We are no longer simply acquaintances. We now know the secrets of one another’s souls.

 

As you look up at me, that same dreamy smile returns to your face. We are in that land you were dreaming of. We have achieved nirvana. We are in heaven. As we walk forward, hand in hand, there is one thing on my mind.

 

I know who you are, Lily Evans.

\---

Just a little something that came to me during school. Tell me what you think. :) 


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